Hello Beautiful People,

Before I get into this post, I just want to say a BIG thank you to you for supporting me and making me feel like my blog makes a difference. I write not only for me, but to share my passion, experiences and knowledge, in hopes that it helps you in one way or another. Sharing my gift with you is a blessing I will never take for granted, and on the days when I really feel discouraged or like giving up, your support is what keeps me going. Thank you and cheers to two amazing years.

So much has changed in the past two years but one thing remains the same……I am as single as when I wrote my very first post Valentine’s Day Shenanigans. However, I have learned a hell of a lot in those two years, and although it hasn’t been a bed of roses, in hindsight, I certainly have loved and enjoyed getting to know myself more with every hurdle.

One important thing I have learned is that there are different stages within the single period. Two years ago I was in the battle with societal pressure, watching people around me loved up and walk down the aisle, while I was at the beginning stage of appreciating my own company. Last year I was in the stage of healing and completely just enjoying my life without fear of the unknown. This year……I’m ready y’all lol. I am at the stage where I fully understand what it means to be happy alone whilst simultaneously being ready for a relationship and sharing yourself,and what you have to offer with someone. But not just anyone, because even though my heart is open, I live by Proverbs 4:23!

It is imperative that the person we choose to spend our lives with isn’t just “decent”. Before you settle, ask yourself, “is decency the best I deserve?”. The answer is NO! Decency is bare minimum. Don’t ever let pressure make you settle for less than you deserve. The person must be worthy of us, deserving of us, compatible with us, and most importantly, their destiny must be aligned with ours. I have one question;

 How do you even know what your purpose is, if you have never been alone long enough to find out?

There is such a negative connontation with being single, almost as it you aren’t good enough as an individual, everyone else around you is getting married and at every wedding your being asked when yours is. Don’t worry I’m here to tell you that, (whether or not it may feel like it now) your alone time will bring you peace, peace in believing the words of Romans 8:28.

For those of you in the healing stage, I understand what it is like to be in a place where you can’t even imagine being with someone, afraid to open your heart. One day you will find yourself in a place where you take ownership of maybe letting undeserving people take up space in your heart, however you will have reached the point where you will no longer be afraid because you will never ever EVER settle for less again! This time you know exactly what you are worth. You will eventually come to terms that any of your “failed” relationships were actually lessons, lessons that you needed to be exactly where you are meant to me. Trust me, you will get there.

My beautiful people, I have experienced it all. From societal pressure, to being in an unhealthy relationship with a narcissist, to being commander in chief to the #MenAreTrash committee, to healing and loving me. I’ve worn all the badges! And although I say I feel ready now, I will cherish every last minute of my time as a single woman, doing things for no one but me, and creating the best version of myself. Honestly this time wont last forever, enjoy it!

I hope this has encouraged at least one person who feels alone, don’t worry, God got you. Oh and I have another surprise for you CLICK HERE ;). I really hope you have enjoyed being on this journey with me the past two years, I know I certainly have had such an amazing time growing and realising this is not just a hobby, its a gift, a blessing, an opportunity bringing me one step closer to my destiny.

One more time, thank you for two years of riding with me.

Oh and I shouldn’t forget to say……

Happy Valentines Day 🙂

Seasons Greetings Beautiful People,

Wow! the last weekend before Christmas. This time of year is usually a time of reflection for all of us. At this moment I think about where I was at this time last year. I know its been a while, but I definitely couldn’t let this year go without bringing you an inspirational post to ring in the new year.

At the end of every year, I start thinking and planning what I want for the new year, and come up with a hashtag (how I feel at the end of the previous year always sets the tone for the new year). I tagged 2019 #WorkHardPlayHard and I have to be honest and say I worked ALOOOOOOT harder than I played. Although I went on 6 trips (with 2 of those trips being new destinations), I didn’t play as much I planned or would have liked. I worked mega hard, and although it had it’s positives, I learned the hard way the effects of excessive pressure on our mental health and the body.

I have always been a hard worker. My work ethic and determination has always been something that people admire about me, however being a workaholic at times has had its negative effects and I have even experienced alopecia due to it. However, for the first time in my life, this year I experienced work induced anxiety.

I never knew the idea of going to work could cause heart palpitations, I never knew thinking about how much you don’t want to go into work today, but have to because you have responsibilities and dreams to fund could make tears fall out from my eyes. I never knew panic attacks could happen just because I felt like I wasn’t where I needed to be in life, and put immense pressure on myself to work extra hours day after day.

I remember one day feeling my chest get tight and breathing became difficult, and the only thing that could stop what I knew was coming next, was to break down and cry in the middle of the city centre. Just thinking back what I was going through back then, and it feels crazy that it even happened. I knew then that something had to be done, and I had to go to the root of the problem. I had to find not the reason why I was having all these panic attacks (I already knew that), but why was I putting pressure on myself. After all health is wealth, and what would happen if one day my body decided to give up on me. Would all this extra work and pressure be worth it?

So put away trouble from your heart, and put away pain from your body. Because the years when you were a child and the best years of your life are going by fast. – Ecclesiastes 11:10

I realised it was all about the mindset. Nothing was going to stop me from working hard, and believe or not, I actually enjoy it. Even if I was making money in my sleep, I love the idea of doing something I love and reaping benefits from the works of my hands, but what changed was my approach. I am the type of person who is used to achieving new and greater things and accomplishing goals every year my biggest fear was to plateau, I started to compare, measure myself against other people, and even became bitter at one point.  BUT…..

Why was I rushing? What race am I running? And what was I chasing? This pressure we speak of to be in a certain place, who was it for? Me? If it truly was for me, and not because society says it’s the right thing to do, then I definitely should not feel the way I do. I should enjoy chasing my goals because they are…MY GOALS!

Once I changed my mindset and began to do things solely for me and make MY GOALS AND DREAMS a priority is when the panic attacks stopped.

Yeah, yeah, I know this sounds to cliché but I kid you not its 1000000 percent the truth.

I don’t want to dwell too much on the negatives, I want this year to end on a positive note for all of us. Due to my #WorkHard mentality not only have I made the most annual revenue in my entire working life, but I also was able to look at my savings and for the first time see 5 figures. FIVE FREAKING FIGURES! For some people that’s chicken change and I pray I am one of those people one day, however, I want to appreciate where I am at because it important not to compare your chapter one to another person’s chapter twenty. Comparison is the stealer of joy and the reason why I was becoming bitter.

I felt like I was buried this year, like my growth was stunted, and I thought the best solution to that to overcompensate by having something to show for it in my bank account. However, guys…..

I wasn’t buried, I was planted.

And what is planted will eventually bloom.

2019 has forced me to acknowledge that God has been so good to me. Sometimes I take my blessings for granted because I want more. However, I have to remember even though I am nowhere where I want to be, I am way better than I have ever been. I’m sitting back to appreciate what I already have while working towards what I want. Now I look to 2020 with so much aspiration and excitement for what I know God is going to do. I already have my #hastag ready too lol.

Also, once I expressed gratitude, I began to enjoy life and #PlayHard. I enjoyed wonderful experiences with friends. I travelled to new countries and even broke my festival virginity.

I didn’t write this to brag about how much money I have in the bank. I wanted to let you all know that your hard work doesn’t go unnoticed. Remember Proverbs 19:21 my loves. You will get there, you will achieve your dreams. You work too hard to fail, and failures are lessons anyway. Lessons to become better. It took years of failed efforts, rejection and heartbreak for me to become who I am today, and some of your role models to be where they are today. Never lose hope!

Dear friend, I hope all is well with you and that you are as healthy in body as you are strong in spirit. – 3 John 1:2

I am wishing you all a very Merry Christmas and Cheers to 2020.

P.S I will be sharing my best bits of 2019 very soon. Follow me on >>>INSTAGRAM<<< as to not to miss out on all the fun laughter and maybe tears 😊

P.P.S Follow DefynLogic’s new >>>OFFICIAL INSTAGRAM<<< page for your regular dose of motivational posts.

 

 

 

Hello Beautiful People,

I don’t know about you guys, but it feels like the year has been so long already and that long weekend was very much deserved. I hope everyone had a wonderful Easter, survived the first few days back to reality and are now recharged and ready for the next part of the year. The longer days have definitely brought me some new energy and I am so ready to share it with you my beautiful people.

Every decision I have made has been the right one.

Do I sound self-righteous ? Let me tell you a story as to how I came to this conclusion.

One day, actually one of those sleepless nights which usually contains a lot of self-reflection. When you’re wondering to yourself, “what am I even doing with my life?”, “am I making the right choice?”, and “what do I do next?”. This was the night I randomly came across my starred messages in Whatsapp and found a conversation from my best friend and I back in 2015, imagine.

In one of the messages I told her “I am moving to France”. Not “I hope” or “I wish” but “I am”, as if I knew for definite. Of course her response accompanied some disbelief given the position I was in back then, “you’re confused” she told me. This conversation happened at one of the hardest times in my life. I had just come out of a dark place and was beginning to rebuild my life. Further down in the conversation we discussed my journey back to university. I didn’t even have a degree at this stage but I was looking at where to do an accredited Masters in psychology (no wonder she thought I was confused LOL) and guys get this….. one of the universities I told her about was guess where…. 😮

Why am I telling you this? Well, bare in mind this conversation happened in 2015! I had completely forgotten about it until two weeks ago. Four years later and it feels as though my destiny was written in the stars. I may have forgotten the conversation but God never forgets.

And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have what we asked of Him. – 1 John 5:15

I have previously spoken about speaking into the universe and the law of attraction in You Will When You Believe, but not only did I say, wish, or dream it, I actively pursued it and executed it. At this point I realised, everything I said I would do, I have done. As I write this I am MIND BLOWN! but at the same time it gives me hope. That night, I couldn’t sleep due to worries, and fears of making the wrong decision and not achieving my goals or destiny. However, finding those messages from 2015 was God’s way of telling me, He’s got me. He’s done it before, He can do it again, and He hasn’t brought me this far to leave me. It gave me hope on this sleepless night that…

…everything I have planned for the future feels as impossible now, as my hopes and dreams for the future felt back then…

…but guess what…. Yup, I achieved them.

This post is not to boast about my achievements, but to encourage you my beautiful people. Please do me a favour, think back to your 2015.

1. What were you doing then?
2. Where were you then?
3. What were you praying SO HARD for then?

Now think to today…

You may not be exactly where you want to be, but, it doesn’t seem so bad now does it? You’re not in the same position you were 4 years ago and I can almost guarantee (apart from some of the lucky ones who have opportunities fall on their lap), everything you have now, you once prayed for. I understand, I certainly know that after each achievement, or even before I’m finished one thing, I am onto the next. Sometimes in the panic of it all we forget to slow down, but let’s take time to be grateful for what he have and, appreciate our milestones.

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. ⁷ Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 4:6-7

You’re doing great my loves. I know you probably don’t hear this often so I’ll say it again,

YOU’RE DOING GREAT!

P.S Lets be friends on Instagram 🙂

Roses are red, violets are blue. Don’t let these shenanigans fool you!

Hello Beautiful People,

So…….. it’s valentine’s day again and before I go on to writing this post. First of all, I want to say HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO DEFYNLOGIC and a big, big, BIG thank you to everyone who has been supporting my passion for writing over this part year. I really love and appreciate you all, and I hope to continue to inspire and motivate you as you have me. This year hope to bring you more interesting and useful content!

(SPECIAL ANNONCEMENT!!!!!!!! we now have our own domain!!! which means we will be rebranding soon. To celebrate this achievement and our birthday, today’s post will be a little different, surprise bbelow 😉 )

First post of the year? Well, lets get into it 🙂

Last year when I wrote Valentine’s Day Shenanigans I shared a scenario one too many of us are familiar with, little may you know that I may have been in that scenario myself. Living with the pressure and comparisons of everyone around me, leaving me to wonder why certain things weren’t happening for me. Remember what I said about wrong relationship – wrong reasons ? Yeah, that was me too. I may have seemed to have it altogether when I wrote that post but, believe it or not, as much as I write to help other people I also do it to help myself.

One year later and my eyes have opened, but everything in I said in that post still stands today. I am STILL that girl that values and is at peace with her singleness. We all get side tracked, make mistakes, however, that’s not what matters. What’s important is that you learn from your mistakes, because I certainly know I learned the hardest, yet most valuable lesson EVER.

Every test is a lesson , Every lesson is a blessing, If you choose to see the message!  – Guvna B

So what has changed between last Valentine’s day and today? Well,

1. I know God loves me (Romans 8:28)
2. I am still the love of my life (I promise I’m not vain LOL)
3. I treat myself (sometimes a little too much – damn money is good)
4. I am enjoying the season (evidently)

 

No! I mean what has really changed?

Last year I was learning all of these things, I was at the beginning of my journey of falling in love with myself. I shared the steps I took and what I learned along the way. You see my beautiful people, when you’re learning, you don’t know everything so sometimes you fall of the wagon, sometimes you fall really hard. I did. Sometimes life gives you lemons and disguises it as PLATINUM! But, what will you do with that bitter experience? I got back up, dusted myself off and remembered who I am, remembered whose I am! I decided to fall back in love with myself. Now I walk in confidence and no one can take that away from me. I am no longer a learner but a master! Of course I could not do all this alone….

 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me – Philippians 4:13

 

Before I was single , now I’m single , SINGLE and the master of being alone. Enjoying my own company, appreciating myself and most importantly I’m happy. Have you ever heard the saying ; “if you’re healing you shouldn’t be dating”?  Mind you, healing doesn’t have to be a depressive state of heartbreak!!!! Healing can be the ability to identify unresolved personal issues that need to be dealt with. I don’t know about you, but I personally feel it would be selfish to go in to a relationship with baggage, inevitably dumping it onto the other person. For what?! they’re my partner NOT my therapist, or in any way responsible for my happiness. That’s my job! ( Ask the Smiths).

Like I always say;

It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else, it just has to work for you.

Following the “rules” of society can lead you to the wrong road and I can tell you that for free. I’ve realized that I defy logic because I will never be anyone’s expectation. Love yourself and please, please, please as a friend i’m begging, continue to love yourself and don’t lose yourself even when in a relationship (you’ll be surprised how that can happen without you even realising). Live life for you, do what makes you happy. Right now I’m focusing on my career, healing and becoming the best version of myself there could ever possibly be. Dedicated from changing my title from Miss to Dr.

At the end of the day what I’m trying to say is LOVE YOURSELF

Happy Valentines day. I hope I have helped someone out there!

Hello Beautiful People,

Long time no see, sincere apologies for being MIA but your girl has been going through it! (that’s a story for another day), but I’m back now to share some long awaited content with my beautiful followers.

Todays post is inspired by something I have been battling with for a while and I’m sure someone can relate, I just want to let you know that it’s okay, you’re not alone. Today I am speaking about control, or in this case, the lack thereof.

The epiphany  manifested when one day I came back from work and realised…….I CANNOT DO IT AYMORE!!. I cannot control everything! This particular day I felt overwhelmed to the point of tears, tired of trying to perfect everything, and get my life together. Day after day I had been planning and plotting and imagining all different scenarios of “ifs”, “buts” and “maybes”.My head was so full, and so sick of the questions going through it; studying- what route do I go down?, relocating, job hunting, finances, relationship???????? or nah, will I go back to Paris?, will I ever fulfil my destiny? will everything work out? As you can see guys I was having a total information overload and potential meltdown! I was so overwhelmed with the fear of the unknown because what I do not know, I cannot control.

As you can probably guess, I don’t do well with ambiguity, I am the kind of person who likes the security of knowing what’s coming next. In fact, since 2015 I have strategically planned every move I have made year, after year, until now. Okay, okay maybe not every single detail but most things, like education and relocating, I had an idea of when they were going to happen. Now………..I can’t see past 2019 ( November to be precise), and I am not gonna lie that scares me! The fact that for the first time since 2015 I have nothing solid planned for my future scares me, but then I was reminded, and James 4:13-14 confirms, tomorrow isn’t promised.

On this blessed day I made a decision to live in the now and appreciate each day as it comes. This workaholic is going to detox! It’s time for me to practice what I preach and stand up for what I believe in. I am letting go and letting God! This is the day I said to myself I will;

1) no longer worry about the future.

“Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” – Matthew 6:34

2) Trust in my journey.

3) Stop obsessing about being perfect.

4) Remember… I.AM.NOT.GOD!

Earlier the same day I made the decision to change my mind-set , I had a conversation with a colleague about how I felt old and wish that I had more time to achieve my goals. Her response was

“I hate how numbers  determine everything in our lives, from marriage to our dress sizes! because at the end of the day they’re just numbers”

I am telling you beautiful people no words have hit me harder. Its true how we place so much empathises on numbers and achieving certain things by a particular age, that we end up with unnecessary anxiety and depression, instead of just aiming to achieve our goals at our own pace. At the end of the day who said it was a necessity to be graduated by 22, married at 27 and get a mortgage by 30?

Worried because you are single at 27, still living at home with your parents or changing career, when your friends are married at 25 and just bought their first property and own a successful business? Remember Valentine’s Day Shenanigans and To be or not to be?. God sees our hearts desires but His time may not be aligned with our socially constructed norms. However, one thing is for sure, His time is perfect!

Sometimes there are opportunities right in front of our faces, but we cannot see them because we are to busy looking ahead.

Now, lets not get this misconstrued. In no way, shape or form am I encouraging anyone out there not to make plans for the future, save for a rainy day, or work towards their goals. In fact, my aim is to advocate the opposite. However, do not waste time in fear when the future seems uncertain. Do not stress when you cant see what you will be doing in five years, what matters is what are you doing now? Feeling anxious? Do your best, work hard, hit those milestones and watch destiny and the universe take control. I had to surrender to God, and found comfort in Romans 8:28, knowing that everything will work out if I just trust in Him.

Please do not tell me I am alone. Does anyone else feel like this? If so what do you do? I am not only here to give advice but also continue to grow, learn and  hope sharing my experience has helped someone out there going through something similar.

I saw a powerful quote and it made me realise, happiness is now, and I have to live in it before it is too late.

Yes, the past 3 years have been planned but man they have flown by quick, and guess what the next 3 will fly just as quickly. The reality is…..

All we have is now

ENJOY IT

P.S My YouTube has been acting up for a while but I have finally sorted it out. This day last year I graduated and to celebrate I am finally uploading the VLOG of the graduation party I had with one of my best friends if your interested in watching please CLICK HERE!!

 

 

 

Hello Beautiful People,

I know I have been MIA lately. Apologies to keep you waiting so long but I promise your girl has been writing…………….exams that is. Exam season is now over and while I have been away inspiration has been coming left, right and centre so I promise to have some new interesting posts for you guys, and I hope it touches someone somewhere one way or another.

Todays post was inspired by a question I am often asked when I take a picture of that big beautiful landmark in the centre of this small beautiful city of Paris.

“Don’t you ever get tired of seeing the Eiffel Tower, you see it everyday?!”

My goodness the answer is NO! No matter how many times I walk past it, no matter how many times I see it, or how many times it lights up or how many pictures I take, I will always always always appreciate its beauty.

Why?, well before you start to think I am a little bit crazy let me tell you a story…..

It reminds me of the time I wasn’t ready for an opportunity but I took the leap of faith and took it anyway. It reminds me of how far I’ve come. I look at it and think “I’ve made it”.

It reminds me of a time when my biggest nightmare came true and I had no choice but to understand that this was no longer an ugly dream but now my reality, however, while I was living my worst nightmare my prayers were also answered. No matter how much it may feel like the devil has you God always comes in at the right moment with words like that from 2 Timothy 1:7, and wraps you in His arms and whispers.

“You can do this”

It reminds me of a time that for a whole month depression had me so far knocked down to the ground. The only thing that kept me sane was the beauty in this piece of art reminding me that I am here, I will prosper, don’t give up, this time will pass.

It reminds me of a time when I had to face one of my hardest challenges to date. I won’t lie to you people, even though this experience has been great and I wouldn’t change it for the world it did come with its trials. To live in a country where you don’t speak the language is one thing, but to be in a new country all alone, dealing with culture shock, no friends, no family, is one of the most testing experiences I have ever been through and I have never been so homesick in my life.

It reminded me when times got tough that;

Every thing you have now you once prayed about.

Yes, this is the life I chose, but you never realise how hard its actually going to be until you get there.

It reminds me of a time that I wanted to pack up, give up and go home, but something deep inside will say “you’re not a quitter”, and one thing I have definitely learned is that;

You will never progress in life if you remain in your comfort zone.

Being in Paris brought back memories of way back when, when I was broke, living pay-cheque to pay-cheque up to my eyeballs in expenses and debt. The beautiful monument I saw everyday on my way home reminded me that I can never, ever go back to that place no matter how bad things may feel now. I feel the assurance that everything is going to be okay and the words written in Matthew 6:25-27.

Now I am sure this post may come as a surprise as I have sown my time here to be nothing less than positive, and that is because it is 100% TRUE;

Just because something has been challenging and mentally exhausting does not mean that it is negative!

In fact that’s how we all learn and grow through life.

Moral of my story is; what is the Eiffel Tower for you? What is that thing in your life you hold so close to home and reminds you of everything that you have been through? What is your symbol of strength? Be it a favourite place that you like to go and be by yourself to think or even get inspiration, a picture, gift from an old friend, piece of clothing, or maybe the very first thing you were able to afford to buy yourself with that pay-cheque from your first “real” job, something you would have never been able to afford in the past.

My Beautiful People, know that God created all things with His awesome power and can use any of His creations as a comforter for you. So I ask again what is your symbol of strength? What is that thing that gives you joy every time you look at it in a way that no one else will ever understand? It is special and don’t ever let anyone make you feel silly about it.

Remember……

It doesn’t have to make sense to anyone else, it just has to work for you.

P.S.

If peradventure your desire is similar to mine and you are looking for an opportunity to live in Paris, feel free to talk to me (drop a message in the Contact section and I will be more than happy to help).

The opportunity to work , live and study in France was given to me by Le Repertoire de Gaspard. I am so grateful to have been a part of this and be exposed to the real Parisian experience. They are so helpful in many ways, be it administration, accommodation or any other difficulties, they are ready to offer assistance. Everyone in the office is so friendly and I have made so many friends along the way. Through the trials and challenges they were there to listen and help as much as possible. With almost everyone once being in my shoes (foreigner turned Parisian) they were very compassionate and understood the struggle of settling in.

 

Like I said I was not 100% ready for this opportunity but It didn’t stop me from trying. They say, “an opportunity lost, can never be regained”. It doesn’t matter how unprepared you may think you are, there is a big chance in front of you, TAKE IT!  If you wait for perfect conditions before you start something, you will always have an excuse, and before you know it time will pass you by.

Whatever it is that you love, your passion, your desire, they are there for a reason. Take the leap of faith, share them with the world. Be an example.

 

 

 

 

Hello Beautiful People,

Today’s post comes with love and aims to demonstrate that all those dreams that seem far fetched can actually become a reality if you just believe.

(Top says – ” Everything you can imagine is the reality”)

Imagine you believed in everything you wanted. Imagine you prayed actually reassured that God will definitely answer you. Imagine all your dreams, desires, hopes could be made manifest just by believing that they are possible. Yes, I know I have said the word “believe” umpteen times and it is only the first paragraph, so it is no surprise that this post is aimed at discovering the power of believing. I know it sounds cliché, but I will be sharing my personal story on how believing in my dreams lead to achieving my dreams.

I live the life now I have once dreamed about

Quite recently I had began reading “The Secret” – a self-help book by Rhonda Byrne,  based on the “Law of Attraction”. I started reading this book at one of my lowest moments of this year trying to find a way to attract some positivity back into my life.

The inspiration to write this piece actually came one of those nights I found myself tossing and turning, unable to sleep. I was oblivious then, but it was at that moment it hit me, everything I now have, the position I am right now is something I have once prayed about. At that moment gratitude filled my heart. This is why it is very important to monitor our thoughts and what we say and use them to our advantage.

“The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit”. – Proverbs 18:21

So many of us are practicing the law of attraction and have no idea, but what if we could change that now with this new enlightenment? Let’s take a minute and evaluate, is anything you are experiencing now based on something you have thought, prayed, or spoken about while an angel was passing? Have you imagined any aspect of your life to be this way? Do you remember what it says in Proverbs 23:7?

Let me tell you a back story :)…

For as long as I can remember it was a passion and desire of mine to live in France (or a French speaking country) et voila. Once it was just a dream, some may say even a fantasy, but that didn’t stop me from speaking it into existence and working relentlessly towards it. In instances where French was an elective at school and University I chose it, where it wasn’t I pursued it regardless. Studying French was not just an obligation but a determination. Even down to the type of people I was attracting into my life and surrounded myself with. Most of my friends where from countries where French was the official language. I searched for internships, exchange programmes, study abroad opportunities and even au pair jobs, each time being disappointed. Still I wouldn’t give up because I had Faith and believed in His word written in Ecclesiastes 3:11.

Fast forward today and realise that everything I was doing then are within the principles of the “Law of Attraction”

ASK. BELIEVE. RECIEVE

Just as it is written in Mark 11:24!!!

“Inspired action is when you are acting to receive….Inspired action is effortless…Sometimes you will not even be aware you used “action” until you have received, because the acting was so good” – The Secret

This right here opens a complete new understanding to my journey and I am sharing it with you because I want everyone to know that if you act towards what you truly believe you have the ability to make it manifest into your life. When I say believe, I mean REALLY believe, without a doubt in your heart, just like I did even though I was being disappointed and being told NO! I was taking inspired action in order for my thoughts and desires to be made manifest and I didn’t even realise. Imagine I had been made aware of this beautiful tool much earlier, imagine the dream I would be living now. Beloved readers imagine what you can achieve by just speaking into the universe and letting the Master of the Universe use your words and your thoughts for your favour.

The most baffling part of my journey is that the opportunity finally came to move to Paris when I had stopped looking!!!! Yes guys you read correctly, I had stopped searching for opportunities abroad then BOOM, there was an email offering me the option to live, work and undertake funded training in Paris. There it was, everything I had once prayed for and searched for, failing time and time again, right in front of me and this is why I will forever believe in God’s perfect timing.

“This vision is for a future time. It describes the end, and it will be fulfilled. If it seems slow in coming, wait patiently, for it will surely take place. It will not be delayed” – Habakkuk 2:3

It all just makes so much sense! Here I was final year of University, about to overcome one of my biggest challenges, and along comes the opportunity of my dreams.

WON’T HE DO IT??????????

Please believe in His word people, GENESIS 18:14!!! He is never late. Our ways are not His ways. Work towards your goal and remain patient He will surely reward you and I tell you when He comes through it will be when you least expect it.

So here I am, in one of the most beautiful cities in the world. No one will fully understand how much living in Paris means to me and sometimes, I must be honest I have no idea why God placed such a burning desire inside me. What I can proudly say is I came, I saw and I conquered! And God isn’t finished with me yet. I have mentioned before and I say it again ; He will never give you desire without the tools to achieve them.

Guys please, don’t let your dreams remain dreams, believe in them, wake up and make them a reality. God’s got you, Roman 12:6 confirms that He has given you tools. The universe’ got you, you get out what you put in. Pray, believe, practice the Law of Attraction, speak positive and let it come back to you. Receive.

It worked for Oprah and it worked for me, it doesn’t discriminate, therefore it WILL work for you.

In the words of Maleek Berry – “Vision is more important than sight”

 

 

(Apologies to all my followers, I am currently experiencing some technical difficulties on YOUTUBE however please do not hesitate to click the link, subscribe and hit the notification button so you know when the next upload is up. I hope to be back up and running soon – Lots of love, Tori xxx)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Is this the version of love that we know?

Hello Beautiful People,

Today’s post will be talking about the four letter word, LOVE. I was inspired by the bible passage above that describes love so beautifully. However, I couldn’t help but to wonder, if love is so beautiful why do we often associate it with pain, heartache and tears? In this post I will be sharing my opinion on why this beautiful thing called love hurts so freaking much.

1. Love never fails. People do.

Love is not a person, love is a feeling / emotion. Something that should be given or shared. Too many times have I heard, or even have said myself in the past “I am never going to love again”, after a betrayal. The problem here is that we forget that in a situation where we have been hurt one way or another by someone, is that they are human. They are not love, they are a person, flawed and imperfect in many ways. In fact, there has only ever been one perfect human being on this earth in 2018 years. Many of us are trying to be like Him yet falling short, so why then do we personify our love in the form of another human being and expect not to get hurt?

We place so much importance on other people and emphasize on the perfect friendship (bestie, bestie), the perfect partner, and, looking for someone to love that we don’t even stop to take the time and recognise whether is it actually real love or just feels like love. Trust me, there is a BIG difference! Love is undeniably one of the things most sort after by us as humans. It is this thirst and hunger for that feeling that leaves us vulnerable.

2. The meaning of love has been replaced by a person.

It is no longer given to a person or shared. In this case we forget that we have the power to take it back. This is why when a friendship/relationship ends we find ourselves drained and empty, almost as if we have left a piece of ourselves with that person. In cases where the relationship has clearly reached its final destination we refuse to accept the reality, and find ourselves holding on allowing it to become toxic. Everything we know about love has become embedded within this person. It doesn’t matter how much we see them hurt us, degrade us, or play with our emotions, we stay because this person is what we know to be love. We now allow our love to be abused, and the thirst for love to overpower us. This is a contributing factor as to why there are so many individuals living and dying by domestic violence.

NO! it doesn’t have to be with way! This is not love, it is merely attachment. It is heart breaking that many of us do not know the difference between the two and, yes Miss Tori herself has been guilty of this. The words in Hosea 4:6 are so true, if we only knew rather than chasing what we think to be love and losing ourselves in the process.

3. Only the people we love can hurt us

“The truth is, everyone is going to hurt you. You just got to find the ones worth suffering for” – Bob Marley

This is semi true, yes people are going to hurt you but why must we find someone worth suffering for? Now, everyone who knows me knows I am a strong believer in working hard because nothing worth having comes easy, and the importance of fighting for a relationship that is truly meant to be. However, if it ever gets to a point in a relationship where you feel like you are suffering, it is time to walk away. I have spoken about self-love before and I strongly believe that how we love ourselves determines how we handle relationships.

“Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life” – Proverbs 4:23

The heart is very important. It is possible to survive brain damage but once the heart stops beating that is a life gone. It is OUR job to guard our own heart, however many of us want someone else to do that job for us. There is nothing wrong with letting someone into our heart and loving them, actually, that is what we are supposed to do. Instead what we do is actually hand them our heart, unknowingly giving them the opportunity to do with it and us whatever they please. We need to love ourselves enough never to give anyone that much power over our lives.

4. Oblivious to true love

A lot of the time we are searching for love although it has been with us the whole time. Right in front of our eyes, under our noses and inside our hearts. Agape love is described to be love in its purest form. The most selfless, sacrificial and unconditional love there is. My beautiful people, this is the love that God has for us and surrounds us with daily. When I surrendered my heart and my love to my creator, this is the moment I realised that no pain any human being can ever cause me can be greater than the love God has for me. I embraced Romans 5:5 and acknowledged that my heart, my soul and my mind belonged to Him. This is when I understood my heart would never freeze over in this cold world.

Nowadays, the true definition of love has been distorted, where #MenAreTrash and #WomenAreSavage, we should go back to the foundation and take our meaning of love from the One who created it in the first place. Nowhere in any scripture have I seen the words hurt, pain or tears associated with Love (please leave a comment to correct me if I’m wrong).

So guys, even though we may sometimes find an ice-box where our hearts used to be, we need to remember not to let those who hurts us allow us to close the door to love. When we talk about love we talk about pain? No! I refuse to believe that. Love is a beautiful, amazing, awesome feeling like none other. We just need to be strong enough to recognise what is love and what isn’t. If we ever find ourselves lost all we need to do is go back to 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, and if we still don’t know, remember this. If it hurts, it isn’t love.

Love always wins!

(For help and advice on the sensitive topic of domestic violence please contact one of the helpline services below, nobody deserves to suffer in silence)

Ireland

Amen

SafeIreland

Womens Aid

United Kingdom

Domestic Violence Helpline

 

 

 

 

Hello Beautiful People,

I would like to take this opportunity to thank all my readers for being on this journey with me thus far. In an attempt to share a deeper connection with you all, I would like to share more of my personal stories. I know I have an “about me” page where I have mentioned overcoming trials and adversities, but I never thoroughly explained what they are AND I never properly introduced myself. The more I write, I aim to get close to my readers and have an interactive relationship. Lets be friends! :). My life is my own personal testimony and I would like to use real stories to fulfil my ambition of inspiring people.

You don’t need to be a celebrity to inspire people , you just need to be a real person with a story people can relate to.

 

 

 

 

 

(A quote from Napoleon Hill)

In my opinion, this statement is very true, it’s one of the many influences behind the name DEFYNLOGIC, and I’ll tell you why………

Back in 2014 I made one of the hardest decisions in my adult life. I dropped out of university! (Yeah, yeah I was a drop out). I called it a “year out” or “taking a break”, however, during this time I decided to study something completely unrelated. From friends, family and people who love me I got comments like; “you took a year out to study?? Who does that😳”, questions like; “how is it going benefit you?” and suggestions like; “why don’t you just take the year out to work full time?”. No one could seem to understand why I was taking time out of my degree to study a diploma. Even people who genuinely cared about me considered it a waste of time and no one at this time was encouraging me. I even questioned myself from time to time, why was I actually taking time out of my degree to study a diploma?. Truth is I didn’t know and I couldn’t answer. It was God’s Plan.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths”. – Proverbs 3:5-6

With this in my heart, despite not knowing exactly what God had in store for me I trusted and believed Him when He told me He had my back. At that time my truest and deepest desire was to go back to university after my so called “gap year” and finish what I had started. However, God had a different plan and that plan is what brought me here, where I am today. If I had listened to the opinions of others or doubted in His words I would never have been prepared for what I was about to go through ; was it the debt higher than Mount Everest that left me unable to go back to where I was studying?, the numerous rejections from universities that left me feeling helpless, or a complete career diversion that made me look like I had no idea what I wanted out of life? Noting could prepare me for any of that, not even my loved ones. Truth is only God, trusting in His word and that diploma would save me and open several doors.

Sometimes when God puts an opportunity on our door step, just because it is not what we wanted or asked for at the time we can end up shooting ourselves in the foot if we reject it, which is why I decided to go through with it, although reluctantly. God wanted the best for me and I knew that but in hindsight I took my experience for granted. When I finished the diploma I was so ashamed and felt like it was nothing that I didn’t even go to the graduation. Till this day I remember vividly God telling me I was ungrateful and that is why from then on I have celebrated every milestone ever since (and there are many more to come).

Guys guys guys! I need to emphasise the harsh reality that not everyone will understand your journey. Not to say that these people do not genuinely care about you, in fact the only reason why they are criticizing and giving advice in the first place is they want the best for you. Yes I know we all believe in #CuttingEveryoneOff and all that jazz, but, NO! we have to understand that not everyone who questions our decisions are enemies of progress. They just don’t understand and what people don’t understand they criticise.

Sometimes the reason why we fear the words and opinions of these people is because we are not fully grounded and sure within ourselves.

However, at the end of the day our life is our responsibility and ultimately the decision is up to you. Take their advice OR smile, thank them politely for their well put-together-logical input and do what you want to do because only you truly know what is best for you. In those cases where you don’t, let God guide you.

Taking a year out isn’t something I was completely happy with. Truth be told it definitely knocked my spirit, but in the long run I have learned so much. It’s true what they say everything does happen for a reason and just because sometimes we have to slow down or even divert doesn’t mean we have to stop.

Just because things are not going exactly as we planned doesn’t mean we have to give up.

That was an eye opener of a year and I enjoyed every single part of my “year off”. By Grace of God I went back to studying a degree and ACED IT!!! ( CLICK HERE to watch my Youtube channel on how my day went). Ironically, some could say I am in the same position now 4 years later taking my “career break” in Paris, working and studying in a different field than usual. Yes once again I have had those same comments, questions and suggestions thrown at me. The only difference this time is that I am in a completely differently place mentally, I am not questioning myself. This time I know exactly that God is doing and I am ready for it. Come September I am ready to start my Masters in my first love and I am speaking into existence that I am on the way to DR. TORI.

I hope this motivated somebody out there, people often may fail or do not reach their ultimate potential because they doubt themselves and allow others cloud their judgment. PLEASE DONT! Remember….

It doesn’t have to make sense, it just has to work

P.S Incase you missed it, lease please CLICK HERE and check out my youtube channel.

 

“Time is precious and we cannot afford to sit around and wait for healing without taking practical steps”.

A quote from one of my previous posts Is time the best healer?.

“Okay, so you say this Miss Tori but what exactly are practical tips to healing?????????”

Hello Beautiful people,

In todays post I will be sharing some tips on healing which I have found useful. I understand that it is all well and good to wait on the Lord and spend time with Him but we also have a part to play in designing how things go for us.

“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves”  James 1:22

Even God told us to be practical. So here it goes…..

1.CRY!!

Yes I said it, cry! Too often like Elsa (from frozen) we are told “Conceal, don’t feel, let it go”. Apart from the fact that it is counter productive, I personally feel that it is a paradox to tell someone to conceal something and let it go in the same sentence. The more we hold things in the harder it will be to move on, and we all know what happens when we bottle things in till the point that we exceed the capacity to hold them any longer.

Inevitably we explode and the pain of something that happened a long time ago can be triggered. Why should we let it get to that point when we could have cried it out and forgotten about it ages ago? Now, when I say cry I do not mean to simply wallow in tears over every situation but if you feel the need to cry, do! Break down and let each tear drop be a way to release the negativity. From my previous study in psychology I learned that crying is a practical way of healing because they release toxins that build up within us when we are stressed and the also excrete endorphins. This is exactly what is portrayed in Psalms 30:5.

Fun Fact! Endorphins are a hormone in the body that reduces the effects of pain and makes us feel good. Sound familiar? #PassionPainPleasure.

Too many times people are seen as weak for doing what is just a natural human defence mechanism. Men are often told to “man-up” as crying is a task viewed to be for their “more emotional” counterparts. Let me address this stereotype by saying, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Saviour wept when he heard the news of Lazarus’ death. Don’t believe me?, it is written in John 11:35. And although Jesus knew exactly what He had to do in the situation, it didn’t stop Him from expressing His feelings. Well, He was human after all.

2. Forgiveness

I know we have heard  many times and know by now that holding grudges can hinder our chances of moving on and healing because it leaves us bitter. Focusing on revenge and the people/things that hurt us uses up the energy we could be using to build on ourselves, but we know that so I will not speak on that.

What do you do when you have broken your own heart and are the cause of your own pain? You live and deal with the guilt day in day out. Maybe you have done something you swore you would never do or find yourself becoming the person you said you would never become. Now you feel that there is no way back and that fact that you have got yourself here in the first place hurts your soul.

It is almost easier to forgive others that it is to forgive yourself

Because when you are #CuttingEveryoneOff and supposedly leaving people behind in certain years, what do you do with yourself when you are the primary cause of your own pain? At the end of the day the memory is closer to home because YOU DID IT!! Nothing you do right now can reverse the situation. You can lie to others but you cannot lie to yourself and even if you tell the truth it cannot change what has been done. This is a very dangerous state to be in. Thinking like this has the capacity to drive someone into depression and potentially lead to worse.

The harsh truth is you have one choice here; forgive yourself no matter how hard it may be or live in regret for the rest of your life. At the end of the day I feel this all comes down to self love. When you love someone you can forgive them (eventually) when they hurt you. Hands up if you have been there. Now, can you please apply that same love towards yourself and forgive yourself, because lets be honest, is living in regret really living?

3. Think positive

I know you may be heart broken and in pain right now but for every 10 things going wrong I am sure there is at least one thing worth smiling about. That one thing should be the fuel that drives you to your happy place.

(View from 2nd floor Eiffel Tower)

For me, I just have to look around. It may sound cheesy but not long ago I would have never imagined me to be in the position I am right now. All the things I have once cried about and thought would never happen are here. This gives me hope that whatever I am crying about today will definitely be a thing of the past one day. When I think about the struggles I have overcome and how I defied logic I cannot help but smile. It is not over yet, there are many more struggles to come, but take everyone as a building block, shaping and moulding you to your destiny.

4. Find a focus

If your finding it difficult to think positive this is for you. Do you know that you can use your negative energy to heal? How… Well energy is energy whether it be positive or negative. For example, when we are in a good mood and motivated to put in a good workout in the gym we give it our all, same way if we are stressed or angry that energy can be channelled into us putting our best effort into our work out.

Find something you love and use it as a way to focus all the pain and energy into. Eventually what is hurting us will no longer be our focus. Love wins the battle against hate and it doesn’t matter now small. We all have that one thing we love be it singing, dancing, anything….Writing this blog has helped me in many ways along with other extra curricular activities I use as a way of escape. I turn my negativity energy into fuel which helps feed my creativity, and even for a short moment helps me to forget whatever it was that made me feel negative in the first place. If you do not believe me next time you feel some type of way try a boxing class. Thank me later 🙂

5. STOP GOING BACK , CLOSURE IS A MYTH!!!!!!!!!

I won’t lie and say getting closure on a situation is not the best way to end a situation, because it is. However, sometimes we stunt out own healing because we fail to let things go when closure unavailable. It is often an excuse to remain entangled in the situation and trapped, but why give something so much power over you? Why stay when you really want to leave? You have the power to shut the door and walk away. Do it!

Honestly, sometimes the only closure we can get is knowing we did everything we could, admitting our mistakes and taking the “L” on the chin.

6. If all fails

II Corinthians 3

Remember time is the best healer…….. with GOD